Grief will knock at everyone’s door in many ways and different times, but we seem to know nothing of grief in this county. I wonder why we don’t ever study it in school. We may use the history lessons, maybe the algebra but we all will have grief one day heart breaking, gut searing loss that will change us forever. We lose a job, a house, a friend, someone breaks our heart, a person we love dies suddenly unexpectedly, or slowly in a painful disease process. A child, a parent, a spouse, a family member, an old friend. Grief comes and sits at all hearts and with that it breaks and shatters. It will shake our world and our life, and then we are bereft. We need to deal with this stranger who has blown up our lives and taken our joy away. We are in a place without map, without a clue. Drowning in loss. And often at this point, going on and surviving looks like more then we can bear. And no one knows what to say or do, how long will this last? Will it ever go away? Should we pretend that we are okay, hide our tears or should we sit on the floor and wail?
Whatever grief is it takes hard work and courage and time, way too much time. You are in the tunnel of shock and loss. And your heart will want to weep unexpectedly inappropriately when a shadow of your loved one’s memory passes by, smell, a smile, the place they sat, their favorite meal, a photo, a thought or a dream
And this is a place of choice, do we go on, do we stay and deal with this, do we crawl into a hole and hardener our hearts and minds, refusing to have life go on. Or do we find our courage and dig ourselves out one moment at time. And some days we made not have the strength, so we lay down a bit and pray for courage the next day. It is a moment by moment deal, feeling our sorrow and weeping and finding our joy and smiling. We all work it in a different way, but being kind to your self is so important now, allowing the tears and pain, it is the time to do the work, without care and work grief sits in the background hanging on. An understanding of the process helps, a grief counselor, a good medium, time out to cry, allowing, and a friend with a good ear. Day by day. The wound stops bleeding, a scar starts forming, a testament to love and courage, a badge of loss and survival, life goes on in a different way with a different perspective of how fragile and precious it is, you hug more, you make sure people know you love and cherish them. You know to the bottom of your soul, the important of life and the need to express to people you love how much you care, being present in every moment you have. A flower blooms in the place of your deepest wounds, life does go on
